bwizerrr.

I think I’m going to start this thing up again. I am in the process of putting all my belongings (while cutting back on them) into boxes to be loaded onto a truck towing my car and driving to Kansas City to start my professional career (mouthful, much?).

Yeah, so I think I might try to find some Tumblr happenings in the KC area. I know they have some good jazz, so that is always fun.

Yeah, we’re all too busy working
Entertaining ourselves
40 hours, television, and prescription pills
Well, I take two a day to make my brain behave
It never does, but who’s to say?
At least my doctor gets paid

yes, i live my life vicariously through song lyrics.

So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down
So that these winds of circumstance won’t keep blowing me around

sitting around, no work today
try pacing to keep awake
laying around, no school today
just drink until the clock has circled all the way
it’s late afternoon 
as you walk through the rooms 
of a house that is quiet
except for unanswered telephones
you stand near the sink
you’re mixing a drink
you think you don’t want to pass out
where your roommates will find you again
stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do
you’re always looking for something 
to sniff, smoke, or swallow
calling over next door to see what they got
but you would settle for anything
that would make your brain slow down or stop
break this circle of thoughts you chase
before they catch back up with you
and your parents noticied your thinning face,
all the weight you lost—
all the weight you are losing
you said, “i’m done feeling like a skeleton
no more sleep walking dead”
you’re going to wake from this coma
you’re going to crawl from this bed you have made
and stop counting on that camera
that hangs round your neck
because it won’t ever remember
what you choose to forget
as you try to find some source of light
try to name one thing you like
you used to have such a longer list
and light you never had to look for it
but now it’s so easy— it’s so easy to
it’s so easy— it’s so easy to
second guess everything you do
until all you want is all you want is to
to finish this half empty glass
before the ice all melts away
this feeling always used to pass
but seems like it’s every day 
it seems like it’s every night now

Will you come and what will I say
Oh I have been so distant and unhappy
Like I could disappear

When I was a boy I saw things
That no one else could see
So why am I so blind at twenty-two
To the hope that is all around me
Filling up this room

On the road on my own
Waiting for the words to fall from your tongue
Into my ears

When I was a boy I could hear
Symphonies in seashells
So why am I so deaf at twenty-two
To the sound of the driving snow
That drives me home to you

I said, “But maybe I’m too far down this time.”
“Too proud to hope too weak to climb.”
But you just pierce through me with eyes
And I know I’m done

Boooooo, internship. I think I will declare this to be my last week. So much effort for no compensation (‘cept some letters for grad school).

I spent all night making flash cards for the GRE. Pretty wicked.

Walter says HI.